The Resilient Child

Posted: February 14, 2014 in Family, LGBT, Perspective


The bond between parent and child is a bond like no other.  Mammals have an innate, keen, protective interest in the care of their offspring and their bond is unequaled among other species.  Parent’s look into the eyes of the life they’ve created with extreme awe and wonderment as to the little ‘them’ they hold in their loving arms.  Children completely depend on their parents for natures necessities for the first 3-5 years before true ‘consciousness’ is acquired by the child.  It’s awareness of the world and how it reacts to them.  When they start school, this new awareness wakens a desire to please and be pleased.  Friendships blossom, social likes and dislikes become more defined.  Experience of bonding beyond their family, feelings of rejection and misunderstandings are communicated on the regular.  They are very fragile, impressionable, still needing the care, teaching, and protection of their makers. 



The Questioning period

Children are so curious!  They want to know so much about their world, and all its wonders.  As parents, we are like gods to these bundles of joy.  We supply sustenance, both physically and just as critical, mentally.  When the questioning starts, we are more than willing to help them understand things, anything from colors, numbers, letters, shapes, animals, to their place in the family.  This is also the time where people introduce the concepts of god, shame, judgment, rule, and an understanding of good and evil.  All this taught by ‘well meaning’, loving parents. I have watched as parents would ignorantly introduce prejudice, vocalizing mean spirited remarks and responses to others in their lives only to ‘poison the well’ of the very offspring they love so much…forever setting in motion, actions that will stain their young minds forever. 


Cause and Effect

I remember going to the fair at a young age, and hearing the jibes of ‘adults’ concerning others that were disabled, obese, skinny, short, tall, ‘ugly’, or other ethniticities, as they attempted to be humorous with their other small minded friends.  This gives license to children to do the same!  I would see couples showing public displays of affection, and this was completely accepted within a heterosexual context.

In my young adulthood, the terms and lifestyles of the LGBT community were beginning to surface in the public eye.   Disgust to anything considered ‘unnatural’, was accepted as a ‘healthy’ response.  Those in the religious community championed the discrimination all in the name of their ‘god’, adding to the insanity of demeaning treatment to those of the LGBT community. 

We have come such a long way from that time.  The more visible we became in leadership, politics, and the community, the less ‘threatening’ we seemed to appear to those ‘stained’ souls of our past.  Although we are gaining ground in most states with Marriage Equality, this is only the start.   We have always had lives and loves, just as the hetero community have always had, but we have yet to stretch our freedoms so comfortably.  They can speak of their dating, loves, relationships, vacations, children, etc., but it still leaves a very bitter and disgusting taste in the mind of most if we speak so boldly.  Holding hands, a simple kiss, your arm around your significant other is something we in the LGBT community have never taken lightly.  Many parents still today, do not want to acknowledge the very things their children embrace everyday…diversity.   They fail to be responsible parents to their children and call it ‘protecting them’, only to let the children learn from others… and that with the usual negative, damaging results.  These results could last an entire lifetime, just because a parent thought they were protecting their own children’s minds, when really they were bolstering their own ignorance.  Children are very impressionable, and it is UP TO THE PARENTS to teach them early.  The kids of this generation most likely have seen gay parents/couples, or have a transgender girl or boy in their school.  To refuse to correctly teach your children, you could be dooming them to a destructive, segregationist mentality that will only continue the cycle of ignorance and cruelty toward anyone not like you.  Children are resilient!  Teach them how to think, not what to think.  Explain to them as a caring, adult parent should.  Lead them, not poison them.  You will be loving them more than you know.


Prepare them, don’t blemish them.

 It’s in your hands.


  1. MASON MOORE says:

    Would you permit me to share this on my twitter?

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