Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category


Humor is to provoke laughter, providing amusement.  ‘Laughter is the best medicine’, a phrase we all have heard.   It rings true in the face of almost every human experience.  It breaks the tension between quarreling people; it interrupts the hurting, hate-filled nonsense we sometimes experience.  It’s manifested in smiles, bursting into joy…sending soothing chemicals from the brain, igniting a pleasant release of stress.  It’s been a mainstay for many relationships, both personal and professional.  It works!  It works for ALL of us, no matter what we are going through or suffer from.

With that in mind, let’s talk about the types of humor.  After all, we all enjoy humor, but certain humor causes our laughter to commence.  Some like raunchy humor, full of cursing and sexual innuendos.   Some like the clean, family type humor.  Some like the silly type humor, the dummying down type.  Some enjoy the intelligent/witty type of humor.  And of course the most enjoyable, laughing at ourselves.  Most of us like a combination of them, that work to loosen the burgeoning chuckle or hardy laugh that we all enjoy and need.  There is a long list of the types of humor that are experienced by millions during their life experience, although different in taste, the outcome is the same…laughter.

With the birth of well-founded laws protecting minority classes of people, there has developed the need of political correctness.  Being politically correct, or PC, is now written in bylaws of various companies and corporations, slowing the belittling in unhealthy workplace environments.  More of late, PC has flowed into most TV production and personality, evoking reprimands and even termination of those who cross those sensitive boundaries.

Staying in the same vein of being PC, I feel that there are words that we as mature humanity need to leave behind or evolve away from.  We all know the power, history, and representation of various words that evoke memories of pain, whether in the general public or on a personal level.  Words that evolved from the playground, into our adult lives and conversation.  Our species is one of many that developed pecking orders 150,000 years ago, back when tribes ruled.  Intimidation was and is a tool people use to develop these sometimes cruel events, using nicknames and bullying techniques that still work today.  Although most quell those immature events as adults, there are those that carry those same deceitful techniques into adulthood, honing it’s poison into more ‘legal’ level.

This behavior has been deemed an acceptable form of ‘art’, when used by comedians and performers.  It has been woven into cultures for eons.  Since early times of this great nation, using any ‘different’ group or minority were used as the butt of jokes, allowing and celebrating the denigration of peoples for a mere laugh.  Allowing this type of humor leans to a devolving society, especially here in the U.S., where we are the most diverse country on the planet.  “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” …one of the biggest un-truths ever spoken!  Ignorance on the playground between children is one thing, but to carry that into adulthood is a hurting disservice to us all.  Social evolution is a continued must for a diverse culture and society. 

What I’m saying is this, we all know the words that hurt. Those condescending or maligning words or remarks that we allow ourselves to enjoy at the expense of others as an ‘accepted’ form of entertainment, to permeate our lives without remorse. 

I think it’s time to evolve.  Stop the masked prejudice, and evolve our humor to something more tasteful, not to be cloaked as a recognized ‘art form’.


I’ve posted the meat of the article for you to reference. This is such a complete assessment of our daily drama’s and experiences I’ve seen. Enjoy!! – POST WRITTEN BY: MARC CHERNOFF

#1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

#3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

#8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

#11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
#12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

#13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

#14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

#15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

#16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

#17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

#18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

#19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

#20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

#21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

#23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

#24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

#25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

#26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

#27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

#28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

#29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

#30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.



Innocence – the freedom from guilt, the lack of knowledge of things that are hurtful in life or of the unknown.  We start this life out with the purest of innocence, completely dependent upon the loving caretakers of our life.  We knew nothing of the planet, it’s inhabitants, it’s wonders or it’s harm, only the sustenance and the warmth of our loving creator(s).

Soon, we begin viewing the world with all it’s vibrant colors, smells, tastes, sounds and touch…our inquisitive nature intact!  Our personalities just beginning to bud, and oh so malleable.  Soon we arrive at conciseness, when we begin to become aware of others and our learning of other reactionary forces that are generated by our choices, as innocent as they may seem.  We begin to relate to others, learning the difference between bad choices and good choices, all the while taking in what we see and hear from our loving caregiver…good or bad.  It’s at this time that the flood of information is processed at lightning speed and our morals are formed;  Respect, friendship, sharing, self-worth or fear, insecurity, feelings of worthlessness, blame or anger are planted and watered.

We start in an education system geared to prepare and make aware the gears of a society and the untapped potential we have in each of us.  The world in ALL of it’s wonders are explosively powerful should we become enlightened.  We become honed through expression, the arts, physical challenges of sports, math/science and friendships that will last a lifetime. But then, the hormones begin to kick in, and what a shock to the system we’ve come to know and find comfort in.  Puberty is a shock and causes unstable emotions within either sex.  It is during this time of the stress of peer pressure and hormonal instincts that the bud of sexuality opens, drawing others to us.  Innocence is a word we are acquainted with by this time, only to be discarded by the sexual urging of reproduction, millions of years in the making.


There are various experiences of innocence.  One example has been experienced by recent generations.  As we look back at the many things we have lost, we’ve learned to reflect on the utopia of it’s predecessors.  A time when we all seemed to be making a living wage and college was in the future for so many of the middle class.  We championed various types of production of manner in our world, giving hopes and security that we became complacent within our personal lives.  Then one day on Sept. 11, 2001, the proverbial ‘shit hit the fan’.  Terrorism brought our norms to their knees, buckled by fears and animosity.  Our innocence was shattered, leaving us only one choice….to rebuild.

What I mean to convey is this; Innocence, in some form, is attained over and over again within our short life experience.  When you reach that ‘Goldie Lock Zone’ or your comfort level that has once again been rebuilt, do not find yourself in complacency, but love and live your life on a daily basis…as it was your last.  After all, that is all anyone has.  Enjoy!


Christ-like, Shiva-like, Allah-like, Ra-like, Herculean, or whoever you’d like to emulate…how about just being a good, respectful, loving human being? Why is it that we humans love to append god-like individuals to give credit for what we humans achieve and experience EVERY DAY?? It’s belittling to man’s achievements within social evolution. Man’s creation of these deities before knowing why the sun comes up, earthquakes, volcanoes, famine, pestilence and plague, soon became harmful control mechanisms used with fear by the few controlling theists, retarding our evolution. Stories of fiction are fun and we have built moral stories within them, just like the fairy-tales you tell your children, yet we still cling to tradition and fables when it comes to religion and it’s imaginations…things that 10 yr. old’s normally reject.

I realize it can be a good social venue, a family per se, but it’s built on social fables and should only be used as a lesson base, not a controlling mechanism where adults speak to the fables as they were real. Now there is a base that yearns for a theocracy right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A., interfering with legislation…a place where they do not belong.

‘Oh, don’t go there Ally’ you may say, but living life as a responsible, loving and respectful human being is already in your power to do, I’d suggest you’d be that for YOURSELF and others…not because of some pie-in-the-sky fairy-tale, preschool, borderline schizophrenic behavior.

Much love to you in your short experience called ‘life’. Be all that YOU can be! – Ally Raymond



Duress of the Noble

Posted: March 10, 2014 in Attitude


Unemployment is at an all time high here in the ‘Land of Plenty’.  Technology, machining, robots, all have been good for corporations and businesses bottom line, but for the worker, it has been a curse.  Sure, the Stock Market is doing well and corporations are enjoying record profit margins, with CEO’s and upper management enjoying lavish salaries, bonuses and perks.  The ‘backbone’ of the companies (it’s worker bees) are just barely making a living wage, and many will never get ahead of a ‘living check-to-check’ lifestyle.  Growth is good.  Challenging oneself to advance is what we champion.  The dreams of owning your own home, a retirement account, vacations, college education and job security are all but a ruse, while the ‘fat cat’ coffers are full of financial pork.

Companies that are ‘public’ (trade on the stock market) are only interested in their investors and stock holders and will do ANYTHING legal and illegal to boost their bottom line.  Many corporations stopped offering pensions, good health insurance, 401 contributions, travel, training, relocation, etc.. in lieu of investing in the human ‘resources’ of the company.  They would rather hire contractors, than ‘invest’ in humanity.

There was a time when unions gave employees a voice.  Management would have to work with their employees for a better, safer work environment.   Unions gave worth to the human element within corporations…these necessities are considered luxuries today.

College educated people are a dime a dozen and it does not guarantee your employment anywhere.   Fast food chains can attest to the failure of the recognition of human talent within the unemployed numbers, as the average age of workers there is 27.  No longer is fast food a ‘stepping stone’ for high school kids to get their feet wet in the employment and responsibility department, but a staple for skilled people.  A living wage was once determined by the average apartment rental in that geographic area.   If the average rent was $800, your living wage would be $800 per week.  So, the living wage has now joined the ranks of fiction as well here in the ‘greatest country on earth’. 

The unemployment rate is derived from those that have filed or are collecting unemployment benefits, NOT the total of those collecting and those that have exhausted their benefits and are ineligible for anything but government assistance.  That number is incalculable, very scary indeed in this day and time.   Millions of experienced, hard-working, educated people are without benefits of any kind and are at the mercy of state and government assistance to SURVIVE.  Note, I said survive…the mere ability to exist.  These unfortunates are not unskilled or lazy, and there is a desperate need to have government programs to retrain citizens, not demonize them.   Paying bills become an impossible task.  Rent/Mortgage, utilities, car and insurance payments, food, internet…all basic needs in our current society cannot be met because of the lack of income.  Many become homeless, or end up a burden on another already struggling family to maintain an existence.

Fear causes paralysis and unless the government steps up with programs and offer incentives to corporations, there will be no hope for the unfortunate, middle class unemployed in this country.  Those in our government that demonize and remain insensitive and inert, are pure poison for our government and must be removed and replaced by those that will hear the cry of it’s citizens.  I believe the finances and heart exist for our nation to be great again.  What we need now are competent leaders, not prejudice, repugnant legislators.

 Restore our Country’s Nobility!


Normal? I Think Not.

Posted: February 11, 2014 in Attitude, LGBT, Perspective


I am odd, you say.   I am different, you say.  I am unnatural, you say.  I am not NORMAL, no…and let me tell you why I’ve embraced and celebrate my ‘differences’ among the status quo.


Societal norms have a safety built into them and are advantageous for ‘fitting in’ for the average family, life-style, or community.  We humans on the other hand, are all different in shape, size, education, likes, dislikes, sexual orientation, fetishes, religion, creed, culture, ability and disability.  “Fitting in” is a evolutionary function for survival.  We are pack animals, tribal in our very nature.  There are rules and authorities in every tribe, society, or government.  We no longer answer to a mere pecking order, but have socially evolved regarding respect to others, as we would like to be treated.  Our family elements are crucial for our continued bloodlines and species.  Each of us an individual, with various aspirations, goals, talents, likes, and dreams.  So in actuality, society is an orchestra of various instruments, sounds, compilations of rhythm and harmony.  Just because you’re buried deep in the trombone section, smothered by the musical score that fits you, do not forget that you are a mere note in a sea of notes that make up a successful orchestra in the theater of life.

Your outlook and experience are directly related to your upbringing and your physical and psychological makeup.  You can choose to stay in that mindset, and continue a functional but dwarfed existence, or you can push yourself into an expanded world of education, experience and diversity.  There is beauty in both existences, but the latter will allow you to feel, grow, and experience things you would or could never, living on the smaller minded plane of existence so many call ‘normal’.

Those who are unable to learn or grow, because of laziness, addictions, cults, or other socially crippling habits, often lash out at those who do choose to spread their wings.  Hateful words, conniving actions, can be as a cancer, spreading throughout their thought processes…causing division and continued willful ignorance in a struggling, progressive society.  There are many that rejoice and celebrate their ignorance, and band together as a rogue pack of rabid animals, trying to spoil every good thing that diversity and progressive thinking has blossomed.

So, where do you find yourself?  Settling for the simple ‘trombone’ score, in the midst of other like trombones, or do you hear the beat of a different drummer, keeping cadence with the other notes that are beautifully ringing in the ears of those who would hear?


Normal?  I think not.



I’ve always enjoyed a bag of microwavable popcorn, to edge my hunger.  That slight salt and buttery taste satisfies for a moment, but ultimately leaves you with a hunger for REAL food.  The salt creates a thirst and the butter, well, who doesn’t love butter?  It’s a quick treat.  Something that takes little effort and yields a pleasant, but temporary satisfaction.   

Humans are intelligent and creative, creativity being mostly for convenience.  The Machine Age brought ingenious streamlining to our mundane chores.  From farming to the table, from cotton to clothing, from manual labor to automated machines that would run circles around human production.  Now the Age of Technology has brought almost complete automation to our human interactions and the realities of what it means to be ‘human’.   While we all enjoy many of these inventions, and cannot even think of going back to the ‘old days’ before machines, computers, chat rooms and the like, there is much to be said about the human element. 


Staples has built their marketing around the big red button “EASY”.  It implies that with little effort, your shopping experience will be a breeze.  The keyword is “easy”.  We want things, all things, to be convenient for us…a form of instant or quick gratification.  From quick changing lights in traffic, to timely appointments, those ‘things’ can be improved and therefore benefit our selfish needs.  But there are things better left for preparation, things that heartfelt humanity can only fill and bring meaning to us the way that ‘things’ and convenience cannot.  We must identify those human elements…friendships, quality time with friends and family, a good book, a fantastic meal, a retirement plan, a quality vacation,  a kiss, passionate expression, time taking essence that satisfy the soul…not just the moment. 

The point being, Nothing worth having comes easy…nothing.  From loves, to friends, to food, to careers, the meaningful has no shortcuts.  Wondering why no one is your friend?  Wonder why you don’t have the job you desire?  Wonder why you’re always single?  Ask yourself again, with sincerity…are you willing to spend your energies achieving those things you desire most, or are you trying to ‘microwave’ your happiness?

nothing worth having