The Strength of Hope

Hope – to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true.   So many have used this virtue to gird themselves against the reality that is just NOT.  But the sweetness of hope is that it may not be now, but that it is a possibility for YOU! 

 

Hope is a well spring, keeping us from complete despair.  Without it, there is no apparent light to a bad situation.  Good situations to be had all around us are in our ‘blind spot’, not realizing just how close those pleasant realities are.  Hope is a lighthouse, its beacon keeping us from total ruin on the rocks of total abandonment!  Hope is light in a dark situation; color in a gray world, aspirations kept alive.

 

Misguided:

There is another kind of hope, misguided hope.  Misguided hopes are unrealistic, and to expect results from them would require breaking laws such as physics, rule of land, having ‘blind’ faith.  Hopes like these have no legs, no ability of ever really existing…just a bridge to nowhere.  To gamble with blind faith is to throw away reality; reality of change, reality of results, tangible evidence of your situation finally making sense.  This type of hope is to be shunned, as it consumes your time without lasting change to your situation.

 

In this life, all of us will be rained on!  We will experience loss, rejection, misunderstanding, depression, hate and abuse (verbal and physical).  Some experience hunger, joblessness, lack of healthcare, clothing, or any type of real care.  Thankfully, there is the good side of life.  Love, peace, shelter, friendships, family, possessions, luxuries many rarely experience.  The combination of both good and bad experiences helps us to be thankful for our situation, as there are always those less fortunate than we are at that moment. 

 

During this holiday season, take time to reflect on the past year…its triumphs and setbacks.  Keep your eyes on YOUR prize!  If it’s a job, mate, to be reunited with estranged loved ones, to find relief from your emptiness and hurt, just know that the reality of a happy situation is yours through HOPE.  Let it be your resolve this coming New Year!  Remember, your hope will be your lifeline to the possibilities only YOU can achieve and experience.  May your joy be full this coming year!

  Much hope and love to you!

Bah, Humbug! (The Miserable)

Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” is a staple for the holiday season.  The story of a cold hearted, tight-fisted, greedy individual, who was known for his distaste for holiday giving, or holiday recognition for that matter.   In a time when jobs were scarce (as is now), his employees did whatever they were expected, as to retain their employment, taking the brunt of Scrooge’s miserable disposition.   Bob Cratchit, a faithful employee who worked long hours at a very low pay, could barely put food on the table for his hungry family.   The story goes on to say he was visited by three spirits, The Ghost of Christmas past, the Ghost of Christmas present, and the Ghost of Christmas future, and we know the outcome of the rest of the story. 

If anyone had a reason to have a bad attitude, it was Bob Cratchit, as it was he and his family that felt the desperation and the cruel nature of a man who could have made a difference in their situation.

The Miserable – 

Have you ever met a person who had been ‘stung’ by a situation in their life, and were absolutely ‘soured for life’ by their experiences?  We all have.  They are the pessimists, the ones that refuse to see the good in a situation.  They never see the receding waters, or the clearing skies, or the jewel of someone’s smile, never mind their own.  Of course, how would we know the experiences comprised of good things, without the ‘bad’ experiences in life as well?  The experiences of betrayal, abuse, abandonment, hunger, joblessness, infidelity, sickness and disease, drama and turmoil are not experiences humans are without.  But conversely, goodness, love, romance, care, concern, help, assistance, love of family and friends and the richness of joy is ours to experience as well.  Tiny Tim, the youngest child of Bob Cratchit, had that joyfully optimistic attitude that ‘the miserable’ can’t seem to stomach.  These tortured souls actually learn to court their misery and befriend others who wallow in their discontent, thus the term “misery loves company”.  Misery actually becomes their companion in the journey of their life, being drawn to a social network of like minded, miserable people, feeding off each-other.

 

In a Nutshell –

We all experience the stings that life brings to us, and it’s up to us just how we respond to them as to the outcome of a healthy life, verses a life of misery.  If we are to climb out our ‘frumpy’ attitude, one MUST think positively!  No, sometimes just being positive is not enough, and changes to our life must be addressed, not ignored.  We must be realistic, and not live in a dream world…but at the same time, not court the misery of disappointments and heartaches that are so very real.  Just as misery is real, it must be seen as temporal in order to make room for the joys that are yours to experience!  There are times of grief and hurt that must be processed before emerging to a life that is once again graced with happiness, friendship, and love.  A ‘bah humbug’ attitude is a cancer that will steal every wonderful experience from your life.  Court optimistic, not pessimistic ideals and you will find your rebound a very sweet experience indeed!!!

 

THRIVE!

Know Thyself

This phrase has been spoken and expressed by many famous people in humanity’s history, Plato and Socrates to name just two.  To know yourself!  And be temperate!   Be aware of your lack of knowledge, and not to think of yourself too highly.  I’d like to take a turn with this phrase.  To “Know Thyself”, you must be aware of your inner desires, your recognition of who you are and your place in the life you carve out for yourself. 

Since birth, we’ve been in someone’s vise, getting beaten on, cut, and formed into what our caregivers, teachers and society thinks we are to be.  Trying to fill forms we were not necessarily made to fill.  After high school, I remember how so many had the very best in mind for me, and how they tried to help steer me in the right direction, given my confused state at that time.  I found myself conforming to the ‘best fit’ that I felt was for me at that time.  Of course, it changed several times over my young adult life, often disregarding my inner feelings.  My social discourse in my adult infancy was shaky at best.  Trying to fit in as we all do, using our scant experience and the council of friends and loved ones.  I personally had conflicts as to who I was, who I found myself attracted to, and conflicts in my gender.  Given the generation in which I was raised, there was NO mention of these quirks of nature that I was experiencing.  Morality was being ruled by religion and animated all the wrong responses to my apparent demise.  I knew something was askew, something did not feel right.  I did not fit within the forms I was so pressed to conform to.  Could I be the man, the father, the strength my wife and children so needed?  Could I be the leader within the church I so loved and gave myself to?  Could I rightfully help others and give council whilst being so tormented and conflicted myself?  I think not.  Until I finally realized that I had to deal with this non-conforming soul that I had been given…which was to truly “Know Thyself”.

 

Your whole life can be spent trying to fit into all the forms that well-meaning friends, loved ones, and professionals try to squeeze you into…and still feel like a misfit.   No, of course these feelings of uncertainty are’t all related to LGBT issues, but so many are.

 

Please take time to let your heart and mind connect, and see that your journey can be full of understanding and acceptance of yourself.  Only then will you be able to think clearly and be motivated to be the best you can possibly be in this short life you’ve been given.

 

Know Thyself!

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Colors of Life

There are three levels I’d like to address.  Tolerance, acceptance, and understanding:

Tolerance – The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

Acceptance – Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition without attempting to change it, protest, or exit.

Understanding – Sympathetically aware of other people’s feelings; tolerant and forgiving.

 

TOLERANCE comes in many forms.  Some tolerate to keep the peace.  Some tolerate because of relationship status…i.e. friends or family.  Some tolerate because it’s “politically correct”.  Some do not practice tolerance, and wouldn’t even begin to know what that was.

No one can ‘police’ our thoughts or inner emotions.  Most project an image of tolerance, and boast of their feelings of diversity, but conceal the prejudiced thought processes that were drilled into them at a very tender age.  Diversity brings so many colors to our world.  Without it, we would experience life in a two dimensional, gray world with everyone being the same.  Ethnicity, LGBT, and varied social strata, keep life challenging and beautiful.  But every culture and society have their own ‘norms’ and their own diversity, as well as their own challenges and level of tolerance.

 

ACCEPTANCE is what we all strive to achieve, without strings attached.  It’s not a difficult thing when it comes to the things we personally are involved in, or mindset.  But when it’s outside of our supposed ‘norms’, we struggle with acceptance.  As the above definition implies, acceptance is recognizing a process or condition “without attempting to change it, protest, or exit”.   Those who have quirks, disabilities, or are LGBT long for this level of understanding…we just want to be validated as human beings that are respected and recognized as beneficial to the communities in which we reside, but soon realize that is not usually the case.

 

UNDERSTANDING folks are compassionate about their attempts at friendships and dealings with others unlike themselves.  This is also another desirable trait for anyone who wants to flourish socially.  

 

Tolerance, Acceptance, and Understanding are often blurred and somewhat interchangeable, but they do have definite levels that set them apart.  Our personal experiences have shown these traits on some levels, others do not even make an attempt to adjust, or to save the relationship.  Those who are diverse in our current societal norms, often experience rejection, estrangement, and abuse because they strive to be who they are among those who do not strive to tolerate, accept, or understand.  Some do respond favorably, but most do not.  Time is our friend, and with time, relationships can mend.  Don’t give up on your loved ones.  Not all friends and loved ones will want to stay with you on your path to happiness and loss to some degree is inevitable.  No one will understand all of you, but acceptance and tolerance does not require understanding. Being who you are by stepping out of the social norms to achieve that goal, is well worth your mental health and joy of this life that is yours.   In the words of Star Treks Spock, “Live Long and Prosper”!

The Inner Darkness

 

The Inner Darkness

 

Darkness…the absence of light.  An image of insufferable pitch black evil.  The abyss of suffering and cold abandonment of all that is good.  The pain of rejection, denial, and intense pain, both emotional and sometimes physical.  We’ve all felt it.  We’ve all felt its talons gripping us and the intense desire to run, and get away from its cold reality.

 

Life is a complicated weave of love, learning, experiencing, sharing, and also the darkness of rejection, death, misunderstanding, willful ignorance and the hatred others seem to savor and project toward you.  Rejection by friends, family,  those who we thought “had our backs”, in the short lived life we are blessed to experience on this wonderful globe. Somehow they are necessary for our discerning good from bad.  This Darkness manifests within many emotions that abide at our very cores, and sometimes its residue remains, even after encouragement from family, friends and professionals.  Identifying the darkness that is masked in both truths and untruths is essential to leading a healthy, vibrant life.

 

This Darkness will steal your joy, your motivation, your hope, and distort the goodness, love, and support that is all around you.  Suddenly, you are exhausted with despair, incapable of moving forward it seems.  But it only has to be purged and cleansed from your core.  That forward motion often comes when we pause, and reflect.  Reflection of the reality of our tapestry, being full of color, life, and meaning.   Many become lost in the darkness and captive to its spiraling gravity, bringing you to the pit of despair.  Many choose to release themselves via desperate means.  Suicide is rampant among our young people, veterans, and LGBT communities. 

 

Please, especially around the Holidays, take time to reach out to those that seem swallowed up by the darkness and help them to pause and reflect on all the beautiful and colorful threads of love, support, and unending joy that is theirs to experience!  And if it’s you, do the same…for you are so precious to many and you never know who you are influencing…much more than you can possibly realize.