Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category


Posted: December 30, 2013 in Attitude, Holidays, LGBT, Perspective


2013 has swiftly come to a close and we are contemplating our new year.  We are all starting from different points in life, different experience, different outlooks, but all have a fresh start at this New Year.  I wanted to talk about the past, and the realities associated with it.


We are complex creatures, made up of intellect, body and human spirit (consciousness/soul).  We experience life on so many levels…the roller coaster effect of ups and downs, situational, emotional and physical.  Just think back on your life this past year.  Friendships, loved ones, relationships lossed and gained.  Situational changes…jobs, housing, sickness, income, living situations some within your control, but many not.  Words spoken that you wish would not have escaped your tongue, regrets, or other situations you know you could have handled better.


Let’s understand something.  You can only change a situation that YOU are in control of, even if it’s only an adjustment to your attitude.  In this life you WILL be rained on!  It all depends on the house you’ve built to protect you from the harmful elements of life.  The Three Pigs, an old nursery rhyme we all know, has a simple but important lesson within it.  If you are built on emotions alone, you are destined to experience a consistently vacillating life experience.  Every day, different from the last, your heart and mind will never be at a state of rest.  Conversely, if you think only with your head, you will miss the simple but beautiful experience our hearts and senses afford.  But building a house of both mind and emotions, you will have built a happy and healthy ‘home’ for you to enjoy! 


How are we to respond to our past?  Let’s first understand that your past cannot be repeated with the very same outcome.  Most experiences, whether terrible or euphoric, will never have the same result even if the situation is recreated.  Lesson:  Do not entertain repeating words or events and expect the same outcome.  Most of life is fluid, and does not have the same rewards or disappointments attached.  We are in constant flux with our emotions, but there are situations that you can control, that you know work for you!  Finances, training, and goals can be had, but your mind must be aimed and honed to take you there…where you can experience the fruits thereof.



So remember, we cannot live in our pasts.  Water under the bridge is just that.  You cannot, or should not continue to look back.  Just as books and articles have areas of reference, create one in your mind.  It will point you to examples and outcomes of our choices and shortcomings, as well as happy times.  Use your experience as a stepping stone, because now they are mere memories in your past.   Start creating new memories, goals, relationships, and maintain a level of joy throughout this New Year!  If you live in the past, you will miss every good and healthy choice you could be experiencing in the now.  Remember, life is fluid, but experience will be your guide to continue healthy choices…making your life a successful one for YOU!


Happy New Year!



Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” is a staple for the holiday season.  The story of a cold hearted, tight-fisted, greedy individual, who was known for his distaste for holiday giving, or holiday recognition for that matter.   In a time when jobs were scarce (as is now), his employees did whatever they were expected, as to retain their employment, taking the brunt of Scrooge’s miserable disposition.   Bob Cratchit, a faithful employee who worked long hours at a very low pay, could barely put food on the table for his hungry family.   The story goes on to say he was visited by three spirits, The Ghost of Christmas past, the Ghost of Christmas present, and the Ghost of Christmas future, and we know the outcome of the rest of the story. 

If anyone had a reason to have a bad attitude, it was Bob Cratchit, as it was he and his family that felt the desperation and the cruel nature of a man who could have made a difference in their situation.


The Miserable – 

Have you ever met a person who had been ‘stung’ by a situation in their life, and were absolutely ‘soured for life’ by their experiences?  We all have.  They are the pessimists, the ones that refuse to see the good in a situation.  They never see the receding waters, or the clearing skies, or the jewel of someone’s smile, never mind their own.  Of course, how would we know the experiences comprised of good things, without the ‘bad’ experiences in life as well?  The experiences of betrayal, abuse, abandonment, hunger, joblessness, infidelity, sickness and disease, drama and turmoil are not experiences humans are without.  But conversely, goodness, love, romance, care, concern, help, assistance, love of family and friends and the richness of joy is ours to experience as well.  Tiny Tim, the youngest child of Bob Cratchit, had that joyfully optimistic attitude that ‘the miserable’ can’t seem to stomach.  These tortured souls actually learn to court their misery and befriend others who wallow in their discontent, thus the term “misery loves company”.  Misery actually becomes their companion in the journey of their life, being drawn to a social network of like minded, miserable people, feeding off each-other.


In a Nutshell –

We all experience the stings that life brings to us, and it’s up to us just how we respond to them as to the outcome of a healthy life, verses a life of misery.  If we are to climb out our ‘frumpy’ attitude, one MUST think positively!  No, sometimes just being positive is not enough, and changes to our life must be addressed, not ignored.  We must be realistic, and not live in a dream world…but at the same time, not court the misery of disappointments and heartaches that are so very real.  Just as misery is real, it must be seen as temporal in order to make room for the joys that are yours to experience!  There are times of grief and hurt that must be processed before emerging to a life that is once again graced with happiness, friendship, and love.  A ‘bah humbug’ attitude is a cancer that will steal every wonderful experience from your life.  Court optimistic, not pessimistic ideals and you will find your rebound a very sweet experience indeed!!!




The Inner Darkness

Posted: November 25, 2013 in Attitude, Holidays, LGBT, Perspective


The Inner Darkness


Darkness…the absence of light.  An image of insufferable pitch black evil.  The abyss of suffering and cold abandonment of all that is good.  The pain of rejection, denial, and intense pain, both emotional and sometimes physical.  We’ve all felt it.  We’ve all felt its talons gripping us and the intense desire to run, and get away from its cold reality.


Life is a complicated weave of love, learning, experiencing, sharing, and also the darkness of rejection, death, misunderstanding, willful ignorance and the hatred others seem to savor and project toward you.  Rejection by friends, family,  those who we thought “had our backs”, in the short lived life we are blessed to experience on this wonderful globe. Somehow they are necessary for our discerning good from bad.  This Darkness manifests within many emotions that abide at our very cores, and sometimes its residue remains, even after encouragement from family, friends and professionals.  Identifying the darkness that is masked in both truths and untruths is essential to leading a healthy, vibrant life.


This Darkness will steal your joy, your motivation, your hope, and distort the goodness, love, and support that is all around you.  Suddenly, you are exhausted with despair, incapable of moving forward it seems.  But it only has to be purged and cleansed from your core.  That forward motion often comes when we pause, and reflect.  Reflection of the reality of our tapestry, being full of color, life, and meaning.   Many become lost in the darkness and captive to its spiraling gravity, bringing you to the pit of despair.  Many choose to release themselves via desperate means.  Suicide is rampant among our young people, veterans, and LGBT communities. 


Please, especially around the Holidays, take time to reach out to those that seem swallowed up by the darkness and help them to pause and reflect on all the beautiful and colorful threads of love, support, and unending joy that is theirs to experience!  And if it’s you, do the same…for you are so precious to many and you never know who you are influencing…much more than you can possibly realize.